Yes, I will cross borders for my child.
The Power of Parental Advocacy
Today at our family volunteer activity, I stepped forward and asked the coordinator for a specific role for my son. Nothing outrageous - just something I knew would work better for him because he was familiar with and excited by the task (it truly was nothing monumental, think pushing the cart with the supplies). She nodded, listened, and said she'd try to make it happen.
Later, on our drive home, our son quietly mentioned he'd overheard the coordinator complaining about me. "Mom, she told someone you had 'the nerve' to ask for something special for your child."
I felt a moment of surprise, followed by perfect clarity.
Truth is, I don't care. Not even a little.
As his mother, advocating for him isn't optional - it's my most sacred responsibility. By doing this in front of him, I'm teaching him something crucial: that discomfort is temporary, but regret lasts. That you can rise above awkwardness and guilt to simply ask for what you need.
She could have said no. She could have assigned him elsewhere as was her purview. The outcome wasn't what mattered.
What my son doesn't yet understand - but someday will - is that parenting means standing in the gap for your child without a second thought for your own comfort, reputation, or ego. We put ourselves out there. We cross rivers. We cross borders. We uproot our lives. We will move heaven and earth for our children - to shield them from harm, always, and make their path just a little smoother, when possible.
I’ll steal the moon for you, but make you tie your own shoes.
This is why we left the United States for Panama. No place is perfect, but creating distance from a world where guns terrorize schools and where we are called disgusting names while walking in our neighborhood - which makes me weep and my husband furious also buys us time from conversations called “The Talk” but not that talk, the other one… Moving away from where Black and brown bodies are policed and monitored without mercy isn't just a choice - it's an act of profound love. The sacrifice of familiarity, of comfort, of closeness to family and friends we left behind - all of it fades against our fierce determination to give him an easier physical, mental and emotional journey as he grows. He deserves ease and safety in what’s left of his childhood.
Yes, I crossed borders for my child.
To advocate for your child sometimes means reimagining their entire world. It means hearing the whispers about "those neighbors who sold everything and ran away" and letting them roll off your back. Because somewhere in the future, our son will understand that every uncomfortable question, every raised eyebrow, every mile between us and what we once called home - it was all for him.
Please tap the heart emoji 💛 if you liked this essay. Your "like" helps more families considering this journey discover our experience.
xo
andRelated Essays:
My Toddler was Diagnosed with Autism and We are Moving to Panama
Considering moving abroad with your autistic child? Essential Questions Checklist
Why your child's smartphone might be the biggest travel risk you never considered
👏👏👏 Standing ovation, Mama. You rock. May luck be on our side.